A Cat Tail

The day went by too fast! I feel like every time I blink another hour or two has gone by. I hate when it does that. Here it is a bit after 1 am already and I'll be going to bed soon. Despite the swiftness of the day I got a lot accomplished.

I wrote up a funny post about CRPS and posted on one of the CRPS boards. A friend of mine there had mentioned a pamphlet on you have CRPS now what? So, to give you a good laugh too, I'm posting it here for everyone to read.

Congratulations! You have RSD/CRPS, Here's What To Expect

Congratulations on joining the RSD/CRPS community! Due to lack of education you are now one of the millions suffering in silence with a progressive, chronic pain disorder. Don't give up hope though, there is a whole new world opening up for you.

Everyone experiences the world of RSD/CRPS differently. You may or may not have any of the following. If you do have any of the symptoms, do not freak out and do not go to the doctor. They don't know anything anyway. Go online and come to the closest RSD/CRPS forum where Karen is now Mayor.

Symptoms you can expect with RSD/CRPS:

Pain: This is common. Pain is best buds with RSD/CRPS. Try to ignore them as they have fun plucking at your nerve endings. Ignoring it will make them go away.

Burning: This is another common symptom of RSD/CRPS. The little pyromaniacs running around inside are what cause the bonfires you feel. They are harder to stop, but drenching them in water puts a damper on their day.

Jerking of Limbs: This happens for some people. If you are minding your own business and an arm or leg begins jerking and flopping like a fish out of water, go with it. Ever wanted to smack or kick your significant other? This is your chance to do so! After all, you can't control all that flailing can you?

Muscle spasms: These can be quite painful and cause your body to contort into shapes not meant for our bodies to be in. Think of the career you could have in a traveling circus! If leg cramps cause you to sit bolt upright in bed in the middle of the night screaming in pain, take a moment to laugh hysterically as your partner hits the ceiling in fright. Everyone needs a good scare now and then, except us of course.

Electrical Jolts/Stabbing: This is the most beloved aspect of RSD/CRPS. Being electrocuted because of the slightest noise feels so good. If the slighest sound causes you to clap your hands over your ears, curl into a ball and blubber like a baby, it's fine. Those comfy white jackets that are all the rage can be yours too!

Hot Flashes/Sweating: The most annoying part of RSD/CRPS. Sitting on the North pole naked isn't enough to cool you down. In order to try to be comfortable, turn the house into an igloo. If your spouse dares utter a word about how cold it is, snarl at him from the extra-deep freezer you are lying in and slam the lid. He won't say anything to you again.

Other things you can expect from RSD/CRPS. All the hair on your legs and arms might fall out. Not that it's a bad thing, you won't have to shave again! All the hair on your head may also fall out but think of the trend we'll be starting.

Your skin...that which protects us turns on us too. You may begin to notice a slight drying of the skin at first. A good lotion seems to work and you're happy. Day by day you notice your skin flakes off. Lotions stop working and soon you're molting like a snake shedding its skin. Awww, who needs that skin anyway!

These joys and more can be yours as a part of this special disorder. Hurry and sign up at your local ER or doctor's office now!

Sincerely,

All of us miserable SOB's