The Greatest Show and Stuff

Today, yet again, we got one of the greatest shows on earth here in florida. Those absolutely wonderful, energizing thunderstorms. There has always been something about them that truly makes me feel so alive! The thunder was booming, lightning zig zagging across the sky, the rain pounding the earth. I feel lucky that I got to experience 2 kinds of thunderstorms in my life. I was born and raised here in Florida and every summer I went to Kentucky when I was a kid. The storms here and there are a little different. In Kentucky, you watch it coming from far off. You see distant flickering of lightning, over the mountains. It seems to come slowly at times and so fast others. Then it just rolls over you. There, as here, nature's show is always spectacular. Here, it can just suddenly be upon you with no foreplay. LOL That's why it's always wise to watch the weather or go online and see what the day will hold. Only in florida will rain march down the street like a regiment of soldiers or better yet, rain on one side of the street and not the other. Weather is endlessly fascinating in it's many forms.

With these storms, no matter how much I love them, comes lots and lots of pain! I'm still hurting though it's over, for today anyway. Living with the rsd beast can really just suck sometimes. It tries to suck all the joy out of life. It steals your breath when the pain hits so hard. It makes you want to stay in bed and not move at all. Some people can and do let it take them over, let rsd rule their life. For me personally, I can't let it do that. I'm not saying I'm right and those others are wrong. No.....there is no right or wrong, just an individual's way of coping. There may come a point where you have to choose to live or just let it kill you slowly, to let it suck the joy out of being alive. No one, no matter what, should just roll over and say, I'm done now. Screw my family, friends, etc. I just don't find much point in it myself. Maybe it's because of my experiences very early on in life, the horrors I've lived through, survived. Maybe because of that I value life and living. I'm not now and never have been a quitter. I'm not saying I didn't think about it a couple of times. BUT those couple of times were as a teenager who couldn't see past the horror to a life where I was happy.

I am a survivor. I survive because I don't know what else to do. I feel how precious life is, having almost lost my own life a time or 2. After my youngest daughter almost died when she was 3. I have things to do before I go. Nothing in life is guaranteed, I know this. I could keel over tomorrow without having done so much, but what I have done till now leaves a mark. I hope that in this life, I will be able to do those things I've just begun and need to finish. I have grandchildren to spoil yet, 3 more children to marry off. *stops and ponders a moment on that last statement* That doesn't sound right does it? Marry off.......I guess I should say I have 3 children to see married yet. *grins* There that sounds somewhat better! It's all about free choice and finding the other half of your soul. Arranged anything is soooo not my style! LOLOLOL

So......I'm all of a sudden......I feel like my brain just emptied!! Not a thought left in there. *sigh*

I guess I can write of a few other mundane matters. My sister, not the one of my blood, but the one of my soul and my (insert words like sister,mother,aunt,uncle, etc here) of many lifetimes before this one. We achieved a new level of being connected yesterday. We both opened ourselves wide. She sent healing to me, trying to put out the fire and the pain, if only just a little. In doing so, we finished tying the last night in the cord that connects us. Now, we don't have to both be open to feel one another's feelings and pain. Today I was open and she wasn't, yet she still felt me and I her! *big grin* This should really help things all the way round. It's a great thing considering she's 3,000 miles away in the U.K. It's always interesting for us pushing the boundaries of everything and finding a new level. We help one another in so many ways both mystical and mundane.

Ok, I'm going to shove off now before I make my arms hurt too much.