Laughing,Kids,Pain and Stuff

Yes, I'm going to cover it all tonight! You get a total 3 ring circus of laughing, stuff about kids, stuff about pain and just stuff. I find my brain is all over the place tonight. It's a whirlwind in there with debris flying everywhere. Sort of like a tornado. We can hope the flying cow won't make an appearance though.

Laughing. This happened because of my oh so adorable, bug eating, lizard catching fur babies. Ahhh yes, got to love them! 2 days ago now Shanni at a very BIG bug. How do I know? The wings. O.M.G!! They were some pretty big wings, see through with a black stripe on each one. No, I don't know what kind it was. I just know it was big by the size of them suckers. I did not catch this *gulp* eating thing until it was all gone. I noticed Fuzzy Butt and Furry Tail sitting close, huddled, in conference, casting furtive looks toward to sliding glass door. This always means they've got a "bug". I leaped out screaming, NO,OMG, NO NO NO! As Fuzzy Butt looks at me, innocence all over her cute face, "What?" *licks chops* "I'm not doing nothing" *licks chops* Let's say it again...O.M.G! GROSS. It was all gone, only 4 huge wings left lying on the ground, not so much as a big leg anywhere. *shudders in disgust* Oh yeah, gross.

Oh, the laughing part...that was today. They both come charging in the house, hot on the trail of something. I was starting to shake wondering what the hell they may have chased right into my house. Me, alone, scared of all things crawly and squirmy. Hoping, praying it was a lizard. I move shoes, *an undignified girly scream erupts, abruptly cut off* Yep, it's a lizard. Not a huge one, thank goodness. The way it shot out, right toward me is what produced the sound erupting from my mouth. I'm sooo not a girly girl either. My voice actually changed when I hit puberty, it got a little deeper. No, I am not kidding. No, I do not sound like a man. I have a sexy voice. Lots of people told me so. *sniffs haughtily* I somehow manage to get it out the door and set it free, sides heaving, sucking in air. Not me, the lizard.

Kids part. Kids are precious and special. It sucks being an empath sometimes. I lived the first 25 or so years of my life feeling different, but not knowing why. Not that it bothered me much really. I was a very shy girl. Make it painfully shy. I had red hair, freckles and glasses. 'Nuff said. Add what I felt inside, it produces a introverted people watching, nature loving, devoted reader, writer and trying not to get close to people. Holding myself aloof. *snorts* That didn't work all the time. It was easy to do with everyone in my family. Except my grandma, grandpa and mee maw who I adored till the day they died.

Ok, so more laughing came from reading this blog. What a ride this woman has been on, is still on, will always be on. I admire her, I laughed with her, I cried and my heart twisted. Each time I read about the loss of another woman's child, her struggles with a child who is sick, it has me saying, Thank the Goddess. I do what other mother's do and am thankful my children are ok, healthy. It's no disrespect to them, goodness no! It's just normal and entirely human. Each time I read the blogs of these women, I have the utmost admiration, respect and just plain awe of them. I wonder had anything been different would I be handling things as well? I can answer yes, I would. My children are my world and I am a tigress, a wolf. I have more to read on her journey to now. I start at the beginning and work my way to the present.

Pain is pain. The four letter cuss word I loathe and hate lately. The word that tries to drag me down, P.A.I.N. Nope, it won't. I refuse to let it no matter how bad it wants to be. I have better things to do, thankyouverymuch! I said to Gil earlier that I'm sick and tired of the pills. It seems on some days I am taking something every half an hour. It's not that often but days like yesterday and today, it feels like it. Tomorrow I'm sure I'll be over this. Pain will never, ever, in a million, billion years take me down.

My RSD survey I made up one month after I was diagnosed is struggling to find new life. The first time, May 2003 to May 2005 I had 55 people respond. It disgusts me how so many sit around whining, complaining, moaning about the need for awareness. The need to educate others about RSD. Show people it is not rare, show them this and that. Yet, when it comes down to DOING SOMETHING...they do NOTHING!! It makes me angry. The apathy they show. I guess whining is easier than doing. It's a survey for pete sake! I started a book at the time as well. A book about RSD which would feature some facts, squash myths, but most of all would show in vivid detail the millions of us with RSD. It would feature the real stories and voices of RSD. Sharing with the world how it affects us and our families. I received a handful of stories, literally a handful. This makes me even more angry. I'm not asking for your life story, just a piece of it. Maybe this time I'll get a better response. It doesn't appear that way, but I hope. I posted my results so far on 2 boards. Last time I look 18 people had read it on one board. The only 2 people who responded were ones who had already done it. The other board, 12 people had read it and no one responded. Apathy at it's finest everyone.