Lazy Day

I took a lazy day today. I had the intention of being productive and getting things done. I got absolutely nothing done! The P word had other plans for me today. Hard to make the brain work properly when it's being battered by alternating waves of "stuff". It's the only word I can think of to describe it collectively. Individually, it's many different words, like the P word-pain, ache, muscles ripping, stretching, spasms, grinding of bones, stabbing, shooting pain, flare up of bonfires beneath my skin, being stabbed with a zillion ice picks, skin crawling, skin so sensitive it hurts and I want to crawl out of my body, sweating, feeling as if I'm being electrocuted. That last one is loads of fun. Is that enough?!? More than, in my oh so humble opinion. There's more ways I could describe the sensations I feel but my gray matter ran out of steam.

Ok, enough about my crappy, whacked out body I would loooove to replace.

A couple of days ago, my friends came over. She asked me if I was still sleeping on the couch. Even as I opened my mouth to answer her, my brain paused. I've been sleeping on the couch for so long, I don't think about it. To people who don't know me, they'd probably make the assumption that Gil and I are moments away from divorce. She and her hubby are the only ones still in my life who knew me before rsd.(backtrack to insert: I swear Geri and Tammy it's the Really Shitty Disease that caused temporary amnesia! The two aforementioned are both still in my life and knew me Before as well. We met in high school and have been part of each others lives since then.) She and her hubby were right there with us watching me go through hell caught in the work comp trap. She held me a few times as I cried from pain, anger and frustration.

I sleep on the couch because of the rsd. I can sometimes make it up the stairs. Lots of days it's too much to do that even. It's the coming down the stairs that is scary. I've come >< close to taking a header down the stairs here and at our old place. When I wake up I can barely walk and it would take far too long to get down the stairs on my butt. It's only one adjustment to my life since rsd. Another is going up the stairs on all fours. *giggles* I know it looks funny but hey, I gotta do what I gotta do to be safe! My joints feel like they're locked up and the bones in my hips, legs, and especially my feet, feel as if they are going to shatter into dust. It takes all I can muster to make it into the kitchen and grab a soda so I can get my meds in me.

I don't mind it too much. We bought a daybed for a couch because I spend a lot of time on it. It has a mattress, so I still have a bed. I miss curling up to Gil at night, but we sacrifice that little comfort for my safety. I know he misses it too. You do what you have to when life happens. The best part is I don't have to make my bed. *big smile* *smile falters a little* Ummm....I just remembered, I never made my bed even when I was sleeping in it. So, either way, it's all good!

I'm really struggling tonight to get words out. I hate this. Guess I'll quit while the quitting is good and see what tomorrow brings.