Addiction-Part 2

Continued from last night.....

I take my meds as prescribed. I don't have any "extras" as some people put it. I NEED my meds, I don't take them for fun. This is what separates me from the people Gil works with. They do it for fun. I want to smack them and the young people who do it for fun. They don't think about how they hurt legitimate pain patients. The powers that be must keep these evil drugs away from young kids. So far the big War on Drugs hasn't slowed them down. Then, there's the reality of having so much "fun". Let's play the What If game. What if you get into a bad car accident. The result of this nasty turn of events that has ruined your day and made it sucketh mightly, is you now have some chronic pain issue related to your back. The meds you have so much fun with are now candy. You live with pain that you can find no relief for because of your fun. What if you get RSD? Don't say it can't happen. It can. It only takes a minor injury or surgery and BAM, you have it. No one knows why some people get it and others don't. There's no way to know if it'll be you next. The what if game continues on with all the issues that can cause chronic pain.

This issue is one I think about a lot. There are too many people willing to believe you have a "problem" and need help. Even more, they can't get past the words "there is no cure" for this. Just like Fibro. I don't think I'm worse than someone else because my disorder is rated highest on the pain scale. Pain is pain and all of us chronic pain persons live with it everyday.

The very worst, most scarring incident in the past 6 years involved a cop. I had my house broken in to and my pain meds stolen. When he pulled into the parking lot and stepped out of the car he said, in a very snide tone, “Let me guess, oxycontin?” This actually made me take a step back and blink before telling him “No, heck no.” This made him almost stumble. He was alredy so sure I was some oxy head trying to scam the system for more pills from my doc.

I didn't even think of something until after he was gone. Filing a robbery report would not have gotten me even a half of a prescription for my missing meds for the rest of the month. There's a nice sign in the office informing all patients there are no refills or called in prescriptions no matter what the circumstances may be. I couldn't take in a police report, hand it to them and get more pills. Mr. Cop assumed that's exactly what I was going to do. My pain doc runs a tight ship. There are pain contracts to sign and urine tests to take. I love my doctor because of it.

This officer of the law said I had a problem and I needed to go get "help". He said I set things up to look as if my house were broken into. I must have taken more than I was supposed to or, according to his brilliant deductions, I had sold them and was doing this so I could get more from my doc. He then threatened to arrest me and throw me in jail if I "insisted" he write a report on the incident. Why would he throw me in jail? For filing a false police report. Yeah, how would I have proven I didn't "set up" the "robbery"?

I know in his mind, that my telling him to just leave confirmed his "theory". That I did indeed do what he accused me of. I didn't do it, but to have him toss me in jail with no way to prove anything would have left me with nothing. My pain management doctor would drop me, no one else would touch me. I'd live in a special kind of hell with no way to ever make it stop. I'd be forever branded over something I didn't do. I couldn't do it, I just couldn't. Maybe that makes me weak and pathetic, but I wouldn't go back and make him write that report.

Addiction part three coming tomorrow night.