Early Monday AM, Part 2

Read the post below before reading this one or it will make no sense. :-) I broke it into 2 parts because everything in one post turned out to be a little on the long side.

It was after they left, thankfully, when my pain started. It is very sharp, stabbing pain in my spine beside my right shoulder. It came, as these things do, out of nowhere. I'm left to dangle on the end of a string, dancing to its tune. It beats at me relentlessly hardly letting me breathe. I am its puppet, at its mercy, while it tries to beat me down and rob me of strength. Despite the wishes of this beast, I shall emerge the victor tonight. I will never let it take anything from me. My will is like a rod of steel, my core of strength stronger. I shall be as unmoving as a mountain but also as fluid as a river.

The monster has tried and will try to win this battle. It can take more of my body, it has most of me already, but never will it claim my soul, my will, my strength. I am more than just flesh and bone. It's what separates me from this cruel, mindless thing which has inhabited my body univited. I am still the short, skinny, funny, sarcastic woman I've always been. What changed is my outlook on life. I take nothing for granted, there is so much to be grateful for every day, there are many more positive thoughts skipping through my mind than negative ones.

How can I change the world? Me, a single individual who is neither famous or rich nor one who runs a multi-million dollar company. My words and my struggle with this insiduous monster are all I have to reach out and touch others. To possibly pass on a few lessons. Lessons I've learned the hard way and a few I came to realize after the fact. There is never a right time to learn life's lessons, It's never too late to realize something you have gone through or are currently living is a life lesson. What matters is you realize it for what it is, then ask yourself what did I learn?

One lesson learned, to take nothing for granted, down to the smallest thing. Stop for a minute sometime and marvel at your ability to walk on two legs which are straight and strong. Arms that do so much for you and don't cause immense pain with each movement, hands that do multiple tasks day after day. The ability to smell, taste, see and hear. To be able to have your children hug you without causing pain. To cuddle with the love of your life and not cringe. Enjoying the breeze as it caresses your skin. Being able to turn up the music as loud as you want. Listen to the shrieks and laughter of children. The feel of clothes or sheets brushing against your skin.

One lesson among many others. Those I'll save for another time.

I sincerely hope this post makes sense. I shouldn't have written much being so tired from fighting the pain. If it rambles and sounds weird, well.......blame it on the tiredness. I really, really shouldn't be allowed near a keyboard when I'm like this. lol I big you adieu for now. *waves*