Back Again!

I've not been very good about writing lately. Triple shame on me!!! I seem to have lost my way with words. I think about writing and........*blink blink* See!!! Nothing, nada, zip, zilch, zero! *big sigh*

Why?!?!?! I cry out to the Goddess and the Muses. Why hast thou forsaken me?!? Why hast thou turned thy head and eyes away?? Have I done something to offend? Maybe I haven't used my talent enough, so my punishment is to be left alone in the cold, dark, lonely void. No light, no sound, no words!!!!! Oh please....don't leave me here like this. I need words like air is to the breath in my lungs, as food is to my body so it doesn't waste away, as water is precious to the struggling plants in the desert. I long for the strings of letters that combine themselves into words. That which weaves a tapestry of colorful images born forth from the imagination to be cast into the light of the computer screen, eager to be drunk by hungry eyes. The words which makes mouths curl up a bit at the corners into something called a smile or, better yet, the words that tumble forth onto the page that has a loud sound issuing forth from an open mouth, what they call laughter. I remember reading somewhere that is the best medicine. I should hope this laughter medicine is sweet on the tongue and flows down the throat like honey, for medicine, I have found, isn't anything sweet or good at all. Usually tis a liquid most foul that lingers, long after it's gone down and leaving a most unpleasant taste behind. Even scrubbing one's tongue with a wire brush can't eject it from yon taste buds which were not meant to be subjected to such liquid most foul.

Why is it, when I feel I need you most, you seem to desert me, to leave me high and dry with no outlet to vent or rejoice? When I have yearned for so many days that have turned into years, a way to scream aloud the pain I feel in both body and soul. The hideous monster that follows me every minute, every second of the day and won't leave me in peace. Instead I am forced to swallow my screams, try to choke it down while it builds until I'm fair bursting and may explode. My eyes are forced to stare at the blank page, clean, inviting, fairly screaming at me to share everything inside with it. To be teased and taunted in such a way is most heinous. It's like dangling a bit of food in front of a starving person, then snatching it away just as they reach for it. Tis behaviour most heartless and cruel.

Let thy blessings gently rain upon me. Let the gift of voice back into this dark, soulless night I have endured for far too long. Give me the only thing I have left to me. My body has betrayed me so cruelly. Once healthy, whole and fit. One moment in time, in less time than it takes for one beat of the heart, one fraction of a second in which the eye blinks, life was forever changed. I was cast into the surf without a care and left to tumble about, flailing wildly, beaten and churned by the angry surf. Unable to reach the light above me to gulp a taste of sweet air which my lungs scream for. No up, no down, just blinding flashes of light and dark.

One day, having endured much beating, lungs having given up the need to take in the nectar of life, I learned the secret. Listen closely, for I can only tell this once. Remember these words for a day when you might also be cast out to sea, adrift and alone. Do not fight. You must let your body float, as if on a cloud of the softest down. Let the warm rays of the sun warm your soul and cast that most precious gift of all into every dark corner, the gift of hope. Hope of the better days, of learning your life lessons, hope of one day being free of the demons which wrack your body, mind and soul. When Hope touches you, be alert enough to recognize it is there and hold it softly within your hands. Rather like holding a beautiful butterfly which will be crushed and die should you crush it within your fists in an attempt to hold on too tightly.

There be one lesson for all today........Hope is a gift free to everyone and cherished by those who know it's more invaluable than all the diamonds in the world.

Return to these pages once again, soon, for more worlds will open before you. More treasures are waiting to be found for those who wish to look for them. The dragon guarding the cave where wonders await for any who are brave enough to realize he really doesn't eat people at all! :-D