I uploaded belly pics and one of Shanni and Connor into Flickr. I'm going to add more tomorrow of some outside pics I took and some of my feet and legs in all their RSD glory!

Today it clouded up, then the sky opened up and dumped buckets, complete with thunder and lightning. It was awesome. The wind was whipping the trees around, leaves on the big trees outside were flying through the air. I love storms because they are so elemental. They make me feel energized and alive. It's going to do it again tomorrow. I'm going to try and capture the rain and wind with the camera.

As much as I love them, I have to pay a big price now. It hurts me. No, it's more than that. A storm begins to build in my body as it does outside. The pain escalating until I want to curl up into a ball and whimper with the force of it. The thunder rolls through me, scooping out bone marrow as it moves through. The electricity from lightning in the air streaks along my nerve pathways sizzling and shocking me from head to toe. My muscles bunch and knot painfully as I tense. Then they smooth out as I concentrate on relaxing my body so I don't add to the pain. Sound makes me want to cover my ears to try and block it out. Each sound is separate, distinct, then jumbles together to produce pain. No one can touch me because my skin is so sensitive. The smallest puff of air across my skin has tears welling in my eyes. I want out of my body but am held prisoner as I am assaulted without mercy, second by second so that time begins to blur.

I never feel as if I can adequately describe what I feel, what RSD does to me. What do you think? Did these words make an impact? Can you understand, a little? Why does RSD have to be so complicated? Other health conditions are easier to describe, but never RSD.

Despite the turmoil storms create for me, I still love them. Nothing can strip me of the pleasure of the elements and nature. It is something that lives in my blood. Why give it up for RSD when wringing the pleasure from it feels so much better? It is a choice and mine is to live. I choose to grab onto every moment of life and drain it dry. Life is made for living.